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Repentance (poem)

2008-02-16T19:43:00.003-05:00

I have left your arms time and again
To go seek out a perfect friend
I've let the wolves come entertain me
I gave to those who can't contain me
I put my hope in mortal men
A pattern of again, again
Abandon ship, find someone else
But each is taking for themselves
Then broken, battered, beaten, bruised
I ask you why I'm always used
Eventually there's no one left
Who isn't guilty of this theft
And so I cry against these charms
And empty, come back to your arms.

Jesus I love You.

Sun Comes Up

2007-06-29T02:26:00.001-04:00

I'm gonna worry about the next day when I get there
That might not be the best way, but right now I don't care
cuz livin' in tomorrow didn't get me nowhere
nowhere fast

I could live on dreams and lovely things that I've pulled from my head
draggin' them around with me when I leave my bed
Stifling reality to walk in clouds instead
but it won't last

I'm waitin' for the sunset just to stay my course
I'm feeling like a cowgirl who's lost her horse
Oh if I had only taken it by force...
but it'll be alright
Sun comes up at the end of the night

It seems like there's so many things that I have never done
I'd like to say I'd try it all, but I'd probably run
I guess the risk that a plan might fail always outweighs the fun
Ain't that the way

I'm waitin' for the sunrise just to carry on
I'm feelin' like a wishing-well with the water drawn
Oh if I could get back all the time that's gone
but it'll be okay
Sun goes down at the end of the day

I could talk myself outta anything, oh yeah, talk is cheap
So will I really, could I maybe, or am I gonna keep...

Waitin' for another day just to pass by me
Cuz in the night I find it's not where I wanna be
Oh one thing you can trust is uncertainty
but it'll be okay
Sun comes up the same either way
Sun goes down the same either way

Sun comes up...

...the same either way

Yeah...

2007-06-29T02:21:00.001-04:00

Yeah...

One of these times
I will defeat
blankness of page

Them sheets with lines
They come and meet
to build a cage

Oh, I'm right on some kind of brink
Oh, but then I pause or I blink and
all I can think is...

yeah...

One of these chords
found their way in
when I was gone
and then some more
started playin'
Mmm-hmm, along

Oh my words are robbing me blind
Oh, I'd lend a piece of my mind but
all I can find is...

yeah...

Where did this come from?
I thought I was numb
to the music that's suddenly making me move
I do not approve
oh, but whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do, oo
...yeah...

Oh, give me something to play
Oh, and make it quick, like today, cuz
all I can say is...

...yeah...

...yeah...

I don't know

2007-06-11T16:34:00.001-04:00

I don't know if certain ones are right or wrong
These words I try to use to explain what's going on
It's like a familiar song comes on
and it sweeps over you
and you relearn a phrase you already knew

It feels like waking up and I like it
ya know it sounds like a folk song when you mic it
it looks like I might just long-haul it
even if I don't know what to call it

I don't know if I'll ever know my way around
but every street and store I have needed you have found
A familiar song comes on
and I sing with you
of green eyes, grey T-shirts, yellow flowers too

It feels like waking up and I like it
ya know it sounds like a folk song when you mic it
it looks like I might just long-haul it
even if I don't know what to call it

Oh no I've got a secret and I just might shout it
I don't know what it is but I know some things about it:

It feels like waking up and I like it
ya know it sounds like a folk song when you mic it
looks like I might just long-haul it
even if I don't know what to call it

I don't, no I don't know what to call it
I don't know what to call it

Rainy Day Song

2007-03-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

Another rainy day
Makes its way
Down from the sky
And the shivering trees
Swung by the breeze
May wonder why
But soon will be their gain
When green their leaves are made
Then they're not afraid
Of a little rain

Another rainy day
Finds its way
Into my heart
And it cries and pleads
But as it bleeds
Is set apart
And through and past the pain
I find I just want more
And I'm better for
A little rain

Another rainy day
Melts its way into my soul
And as the water swarms
It forms
The smallest hole
And there it plants a grain
I know that I am claimed
No I'm not ashamed
Of a little rain

So when a dry day
Spreads its way
Across the land
With lifted eyes
I search the skies
To understand

Land, don't dry out in vain
Cry out that you might live
Oh what I wouldn't give...

For a little rain

Spent

2007-03-17T15:58:00.000-04:00

I note the things warn out and eye the things costly
as I'm sifting through the lost and found
all of these paths that I'm treading softly
lead me around around around

I'm trying to answer a yes or no question
that's requiring all the words in my mouth
my internal compass to find my direction
keeps pointing south south south south south

leaves change colours on my window sill
meanwhile I inside am standing still
oh, but I pay the bill

And I'm spent...
I'm spent...

Check yes or no baby, the page is inviting
but all of my pens have run out of ink
from all of the words I haven't been writing
or had time to think, to think, to think, to think

leaves change colours on my window sill
and my tired eyes, they get their fill
oh, cuz there's time to kill

And I'm spent...
I'm spent...

I've spent all of my time fixing all of my watches and shining them to look new
I've spent all of my money on money collections, to my recollections it's true
I've spent all of my time fixing all of my watches and shining them to look new
I've spent all of my money on money collections, to my recollections it's true

leaves change colours on my window sill
just like they have done over every hill
oh, and they always will

And I'm spent...
I'm spent...
spent...
spent...

Show Me How

2006-12-27T19:19:00.000-05:00

Spirit, lead me, I will follow
Father, speak and I will listen

I want your love and your glory to reflect in me
Oh father, open my eyes, let me see

Show me how your will can be done
Show me how to worship the Son
Can't you tell, I'm desperate for you
I'm desperate for you
For your love and your glory to reflect in me
Oh father, open my eyes, let me see
Show me

Father, whisper, my heart to soften
Jesus, change me, restore and fill me

I want your spirit to move me every day that I live
I want to rest in the promises you give

Show me how your will can be done
Show me how to worship the Son
Can't you tell, I'm desperate for you
I'm desperate for you
For your spirit to move me every day that I live
I want to rest in the promises you give
Show me

Father of Love

2006-12-27T19:13:00.000-05:00

(four part men's chorus)

The Father of Love
He reaches down from above
to show the world He is love,
My Father

The Father of Love
He reaches down from above,
shows the world He is Love,
My Father

The father of love
sings over his children
filling the world with His song
The father of love,
He cares for the broken,
loving the right and the wrong

And who is like Our God?
And who is like Our God?

The Father of Love
is moving and breathing,
giving back life to the dead
the Father of Love,
knowing we were wounded
gave up His Son in our stead

And who is like Our God?
And who is like Our God?

The Father of Love
He reaches down from above
to show the world He is Love,
My Father

The Father of Love
He reaches down from above,
shows the world He is Love,
My Father

Aeroplane

2006-12-27T19:01:00.000-05:00

Why this long anticipation?
These technicalities are getting in my way
It's a strange infatuation
With the day after today
With the day after today

I'm waiting for my aeroplane
I already have the sky
All I need is my aeroplane
And not to wonder why
And not to wonder why

It's the strangest situation
When you find you're wanting anything but this
It's the simplest information
But the point is so easy to miss
The point is so easy to miss

I'm waiting for my aeroplane
I already have the sky
All I need is my aeroplane
And not to wonder why
And not to wonder why

I wonder why
I wanna leave the crowds and get in the sky
I wonder when
I look again
Will I just see the clouds and think as I behold the hush
What was my rush?
Oh, but what a rush!

So I sign my resignation
Giving up on getting ahead of me
I let go of my frustration
For what is yet to be
For what will surely be

I'm waiting for my aeroplane
I already have the sky
All I need is my aeroplane
And not to wonder why
And not to wonder why

Home Away From Home

2006-12-27T18:58:00.000-05:00

My home away from home
Net beneath my leap
Pillow for my head
Sandals for my feet

Keep knocking on my door
Keep calling on the phone
Keep never leaving me alone
My home away from home

I belong where you are
You're my song, mmm
So far so good, my friends
A melody that never ends

My home away from home
Like a ship without a dock
Being sung to by the waves
In a lullaby they rock

I belong where you are
You're my song, mmm
So far so good, my friends
A melody that never ends
Home away from home

Like a cabin far from many
Being lost but for the trees
that keep it company

I belong where you are
You're my song, mmm
So far so good, my friends
A melody that never ends

So keep knocking on my door
Keep calling on the phone
Keep never leaving me alone
My home away from home

I belong where you are
You're my song, mmm
So far so good, my friends
A melody that never ends
Home away from home
Home away from home
Home away from home

Turn To You

2006-04-22T10:20:00.000-04:00

You, you are the light
You are my love, my life, my everything
I, I give it all
I give my love, my life, my everything

Though winter may come
I will make it through, cuz...

Everything I want, Lord, I just turn to you
Everything I need, Lord, I just turn to you
With everything I am, Lord, I just turn to you
And you, you are faithful

You are leading my heart
You are the promise for tomorrow
You, you are my strength
Holding me up, guiding my path

Uncertainty may rise
But I will make it through, cuz...

Everything I want, Lord, I just turn to you
Everything I need, Lord, I just turn to you
With everything I am, Lord, I just turn to you
And you, you are faithful

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him
How I've proved him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
Oh for grace to trust him more

Praise Song

2006-04-03T16:20:00.000-04:00

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
I stand unashamed and unafraid
For I know my God is here
How can I bleed?
How can I bleed?
When my father's arms surrounding me
is all I'll ever need

And I praise you for this love that I own
And I lift my hands to Abba on his throne
And I lift up
my hands to you alone
Whom shall I fear?

Amazing grace
Amazing grace
When I seek love of a perfect kind
I find my father's face
How sweet the sound
How sweet the sound
As the angels join with the redeemed
That I hear all around

And I love you for this gift of praise
I lift my hands to God of eternal days
And I lift up
my hands to you always
Amazing grace

Amazing grace

Small House

2006-04-03T16:11:00.000-04:00

I have a small house
by the river
When the wind blows too strong
I feel it quiver

I have a garden
that doesn't cut it
Cuz when the waters grow high
They come and flood it

And I could have a home that's void of this fear
But anywhere else wouldn't be here

I have a tree to
a robin I rent
but when the rain's coming down
My bird is silent

And I could have a home that's void of this fear
But anywhere else wouldn't be here
There's nowhere else with morning rays so bright
Or where the stars all sing to me at night

And when the water
is getting higher
It's true, I wish for a place
Where it is dryer

Cuz I could have a home that's void of this fear
But anywhere else wouldn't be here
There's nowhere else with morning rays so bright
And where the stars all sing to me at night

When all is done and said
I see the storm clouds overhead
The waters come and take my bed
And leave me with remorse instead
And now the rains have come and gone
So has my house it seems
And now I have to close my eyes
To see in my dreams...

I have a small house
By the river...

You Come First

2006-02-19T14:13:00.000-05:00

You come first
Father, you come first
In these times
Make these lines of mine
Unrehearsed
How clearly you appear
Whenever I draw near to you
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you to come first

Sometimes, I confess
I don't give you all my best
But when I seek your face
All the rest falls into place

You come first
Father, you come first
In these times, make these lines of mine
Unrehearsed
How clearly you appear
Whenever I draw near to you
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you to come first

At night when I pray
I leave out details of my day
But I know in the end
Come what may, you are my best friend

You come first
Father, you come first
In these times
Make these lines of mine
Unrehearsed
How clearly you appear
Whenever I draw near to you
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you to come first

I can't live without you
I'm laying down all my pride
I make my confession
For all that I've tried to hide
And I'm coming back
Falling into arms open wide

You come first
You come first
In these times, make these lines of mine
Unrehearsed
How clearly you appear
Whenever I draw near to you
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you...
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you...
Without fear I will thirst
And hunger for you to come first.

January Rain

2006-01-26T00:20:00.000-05:00

It should be colder
Won't somebody please remind the wind that he should be bolder
Where are the falling shapes of white
That blind you by day and comfort at night?

The days are short, the sun's still lost
My shoes are wet from streets I've crossed
The puddle's deep, the grass is green
What is this state of in between?
My hands aren't cold, my face not red
The trees are brown, naked and dead
It should be autumn but it's not
The spring should come but it forgot

January rain
Doesn't sound the same
Upon the winter pavement
It doesn't mean what rain meant
Now, deep August rain
That's the rain that I've met
Dancing on the city street
Unabashed and indiscreet
I'm taken and confused
Slightly amused
by January

It isn't still yet
The world should be hardly moving, keeping its secret
Where is that slow motion
that puts stars in your eyes like love's sweet potion?

Lullaby of Chinook I miss you
Melting crystals, I long to kiss you
Where's the blanket embroidered with diamonds?
My heart uplifts and when you're in the sky mends

January rain
Doesn't sound the same
upon the winter pavement
it doesn't mean what rain meant
Now deep August rain
That's the rain that I've met
Dancing on the city street
Unabashed and indiscreet
I'm taken and confused
Slightly amused
by January
Sanctuary
Relocated
Evacuated

The days are short **** Lullaby
the sun's still lost **** of Chinook
My shoes are wet **** I miss
from streets I've crossed **** you
the puddle's deep **** Melting
the grass is green **** crystals
What is this state **** I long to
of in between? **** kiss you
My hands aren't cold **** Where's
my face not red **** the blanket
The trees are brown **** embroidered
naked and dead **** with diamonds?
It should be Autumn **** My heart uplifts
but it's not **** and when you're
The spring should come **** in the sky
but it forgot **** mends

January rain
Doesn't sound the same
Upon the winter pavement
it doesn't mean what rain meant
Now deep August rain
That's the rain that I've met
Dancing on the city street
Unabashed and indiscreet
I'm taken I'm confused
Slightly amused, uh,
I'm taken I'm confused
Slightly amused, uh,
I'm taken I'm confused
Slightly amused
by January
January

Uneasy

2005-12-31T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm back in this place
Where the walls just don't look the same
I'm outta that space
Where I'm out gathering my fame
What's left is wondering who and where you are
And theft of security that from here to you is far

I'm back in this place
of my caving in space
and I'm bound to these rooms
cuz your image still looms

Uneasy
Wakeful regretting, it's called uneasy
It's making forgetting you so uneasy
It's everything about you
It's whether I think I trust or doubt you
And when I try to shut you out too
You're so uneasy

Take a good look in your planner
And see if you've got time to spare
In my good book, you've no manner
You won't be seeing your name there
Just hurry up and call so I can tell you to go away
Is it so much to ask for once in a while to have a ruined day?

I fear seeing you
cuz I know what I'd do
I'd just smile and be me
but I know it would be

Uneasy
Wakeful regretting, it's called uneasy
It's making forgetting you so uneasy
It's everything about you
It's whether I think I trust or doubt you
And when I try to shut you out too
You're so uneasy

Oh but I've got to one day just make up my mind
But the scales keep on shifting with every piece of evidence I find

Uneasy
Wakeful regretting, it's called uneasy
It's making forgetting you so uneasy
It's everything about you
It's whether I think I trust or doubt you
And when I try to shut you out too
You're so uneasy

I'm back in this place
of my caving in space
where I'm bound to these rooms
cuz your image still looms
and I fear seeing you
cuz I know what I'd do
I'd just smile and be me
But I know it would be...

Uneasy
Wakeful regretting, it's called uneasy
It's making forgetting you so uneasy
It's everything about you
It's whether I think I trust or doubt you
And when I try to shut you out too
You're so...

Uneasy
Uneasy
It's everything about you
It's whether I think I trust or doubt you
And when I try to shut you out too
You're
so
uneasy
Uneasy

Lullaby

2005-11-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

There's an imposing storm
There's a darkness that threatens to swallow you whole
Just keeping warm
Seems to be your only goal

Cruel children won't leave you alone
They don't know your daddy sits on a throne

Don't cry baby
Don't you know who you are?
There's no maybe
Daddy's not very far

I don't know why you chose
To go out in the rain wearing rags, You
have a closet of clothes
And your daddy implores, he begs you

"Keep dry, keep warm, oh my sweet child
You can stand tall when the storm's raging wild."

Don't cry baby
Don't you know who you are?
There's no maybe
Daddy's not very far

You don't have to be dragging your feet, child
And keeping your eyes on the ground
You're confusing the people you meet, child
By looking lost when you're found

Open your eyes to my arms open wide
Turn back around, come back inside

Don't cry baby
Don't you know who you are?
There's no maybe
Daddy's not very far

Oh baby
Don't you know who you are?
There's no maybe
Daddy's not very far

Daddy's not very far

Daddy's not very far...

Deeper

2005-10-26T02:32:00.000-04:00

I choose to be your servant
I choose to be obedient
For you have called me
To keep my eyes on you

Cut off my distractions, Lord
Train me up to be a sword
For you have called me
To speak your Truth
And you have called me
While I'm in my youth

I wanna go deeper with you
I invite you into all that I do
Because even before I believed in you
You believed in me
I wanna go deeper today
I say my own ambitions cannot stay
I surrender my King, have it your way
Go deeper with me

I choose to put my agenda aside
I choose to swallow my pride
For you have called me
To love your children
Train me up to see your pain
May I never stop praising your Name
For you have called me
To be salt and light
You have called me
To love what's right

No more shame
In declaring your name
I will shout out your fame in all the land
I will shout out your fame in all the land

Letter

2005-10-10T13:45:00.000-04:00

I'm getting used to my new start
Surrounded by music and art
I'm learning many things and taking them to heart
because they're true
That's what I've been up to, how about you?

My inspiration never ends
I'm so surrounded by my friends
I've learned that to be who you want, so much depends
on what you do
I've learned that lesson, how about you?

I've been putting off this letter for so long
But I've been writing you song after song
The things I wanna say are sure to come out wrong
before I'm through
That's what I've been up to, how about you?

I fill my days with work and fun
I say a prayer before they're done
And I remind myself I'm not the only one
you've done this to
That's what I'm up to, how about you?

I've been searching, debating, procrastinating this note
I'm tempted to give you one that's just like the one you wrote
A letter that's suspiciously covered in a thick coat
of lovely view
That's what I've been up to, how about you?

I've been trying to seperate the false from true
And figure out the things that you already knew
The letter that you wrote me nearly ran my battle plan right through
That's what I've been up to, how about you?

The letter that you wrote me
nearly ran
my battle plan
right through

That's what I've been up to, how about you?

If That's Who You Are

2005-09-21T14:49:00.000-04:00

I take it back
Thinkin' I got you figured out
Thinkin' I know what you're about
Cuz I don't

I'm comin' back
With all of these things I gotta say
Thinkin' I'll say them either way
But I won't

Oh what fun
To always be the one who's losin'
You're the one
Who gets to do the choosin' [in my mind]

You say one thing but you mean another
Like "Don't worry about it" really means "Don't bother"
And "I'll talk to you later" kinda means "I'd rather
forget who you are."

Actions speak louder than the words you're not sayin'
And the sun is shining, but I miss the rain
So bottle it up instead of complainin'
If that's who you are
If that's who you are

I'm silent still
Do you think I'd spill my guts if I had the choice?
You must think I really miss your voice
Well I do

I'm standing still
The ball's in your court as you must know
It's gathering cobwebs and dust ya know
I bet you do

Oh what fun
I'll always be the one who's grievin'
You're the one
Who gets to do the leavin' [behind]

You say one thing but you mean another
Like "Don't worry about it" really means "Don't bother"
And "I'll talk to you later" kinda means "I'd rather
forget who you are."

Actions speak louder than the words you're not sayin'
And the sun is shining, but I miss the rain
So bottle it up instead of complainin'
If that's who you are

Who you are and who you should be
Is not the same thing, if you ask me
But you don't ask
What you don't say
Silence is the mask
Of choice today

You say one thing but you mean another
Like "Don't worry about it" really means "Don't bother"
And "I'll talk to you later" kinda means "I'd rather
forget who you are."

Actions speak louder than the words you're not sayin'
And the sun is shining, but I miss the rain
So bottle it up instead of complainin'
If that's who you are
If that's who you are

How the heck?

2005-09-14T14:40:00.000-04:00

Okay...so for some reason this blog is on my homepage and I'm allowed to create a post. I'm not sure if this will work but I thought I'd try it. Very very odd. Sorry Ness. I won't post again I just wanted to see if I could.

I guess I should leave a poem or some lyrics seeing as this is the point of the page. Here goes my on the spot creation.

Smiling eyes
Hidden intention
A slow smirk
with an intent gaze
Overwhelming arms
Comforting glances
Warm smiles
Confused and perplexed.

That was short and crummy but it was my best quick construction. Enjoy!

Alone

2005-09-06T20:26:00.000-04:00

My head is so flooded, so flooded with you
It's all about me and my dreams coming true
I'm five again
Asking "Will you be my friend?"
I know nothing
The moment that you don't tell me everything

I've made you a paper crown
A pill to swallow down
A paddle so you won't drown
In my shallow waters,
Just for starters

You're so hard to leave alone
I can hardly function
Without you upon a throne
Owning every junction
Tell me to walk left or right
Tell me to run day or night
Any way you wanna say it
I can't leave you alone

I'm flailing my arms so you'll notice me here
But I'm on the wrong side of your one-way mirror
How kind of you
to write me a warm-hearted letter
If it were true
Well that would be better, yeah that would be better

I've made us a wooden stage
So we can act any age
Some costumes so you can engage
in this tragedy
That's befallen me

You're so hard to leave alone
I can hardly function
Without you upon a throne
Owning every junction
Tell me to walk left or right
Tell me to run day or night
Any way you wanna say it
I can't leave you alone

I'm taking care of me
By taking care of you
Cuz if I lost you
Oh what would I do?

I've made you some cardboard shoes
So you can walk where you choose
I made you a raincoat of newspaper
Don't forget to
say "Oh thank you!"

You're so hard to leave alone
I can hardly function
Without you upon a throne
Owning every junction
Tell me to walk left or right
Tell me to run day or night
Any way you wanna say it
I can't leave you alone

I can't leave you alone.